Monday, December 11, 2006

The Adventure of the Dying Detective

By Sir Arthur Conan Doyle


Mrs. Hudson, the landlady of Sherlock Holmes, was a long-suffering woman. Not only was her first-floor flat invaded at all hours by throngs of singular and often undesirable characters but her remarkable lodger showed an eccentricity and irregularity in his life which must have sorely tried her patience. His incredible untidiness, his addiction to music at strange hours, his occasional revolver practice within doors, his weird and often malodorous scientific experiments, and the atmosphere of violence and danger which hung around him made him the very worst tenant in London. On the other hand, his payments were princely. I have no doubt that the house might have been purchased at the price which Holmes paid for his rooms during the years that I was with him.

The landlady stood in the deepest awe of him and never dared to interfere with him, however outrageous his proceedings might seem. She was fond of him, too, for he had a remarkable gentleness and courtesy in his dealings with women. He disliked and distrusted the sex, but he was always a chivalrous opponent. Knowing how genuine was her regard for him, I listened earnestly to her story when she came to my rooms in the second year of my married life and told me of the sad condition to which my poor friend was reduced.

"He's dying, Dr. Watson," said she. "For three days he has been sinking, and I doubt if he will last the day. He would not let me get a doctor. This morning when I saw his bones sticking out of his face and his great bright eyes looking at me I could stand no more of it. 'With your leave or without it, Mr. Holmes, I am going for a doctor this very hour,' said I. 'Let it be Watson, then,' said he. I wouldn't waste an hour in coming to him, sir, or you may not see him alive."

I was horrified for I had heard nothing of his illness. I need not say that I rushed for my coat and my hat. As we drove back I asked for the details.

"There is little I can tell you, sir. He has been working at a case down at otherhithe, in an alley near the river, and he has brought this illness back with him. He took to his bed on Wednesday afternoon and has never moved since. For these three days neither food nor drink has passed his lips."

"Good God! Why did you not call in a doctor?" "He wouldn't have it, sir. You know how masterful he is. I didn't dare to disobey him. But he's not long for this world, as you'll see for yourself the moment that you set eyes on him."

He was indeed a deplorable spectacle. In the dim light of a foggy November day the sick room was a gloomy spot, but it was that gaunt, wasted face staring at me from the bed which sent a chill to my heart. His eyes had the brightness of fever, there as a hectic flush upon either cheek, and dark crusts clung to his lips; the thin hands upon the coverlet twitched incessantly, his voice was croaking and spasmodic. He lay listlessly as I entered the room, but the sight of me brought a gleam of recognition to his eyes.

"Well, Watson, we seem to have fallen upon evil days," said he in a feeble voice, but with something of his old carelessness of manner.

"My dear fellow!" I cried, approaching him. "Stand back! Stand right back!" said he with the sharp imperiousness which I had associated only with moments of crisis.

"If you approach me, Watson, I shall order you out of the house."

"But why?"

"Because it is my desire. Is that not enough?"

Yes, Mrs. Hudson was right. He was more masterful than ever. It was pitiful, however, to see his exhaustion.

"I only wished to help," I explained.

"Exactly! You will help best by doing what you are told."

"Certainly, Holmes."

He relaxed the austerity of his manner.

"You are not angry?" he asked, gasping for breath.

Poor devil, how could I be angry when I saw him lying in such a plight before me?

"It's for your own sake, Watson," he croaked.

"For MY sake?"

"I know what is the matter with me. It is a coolie disease from Sumatra--a thing that the Dutch know more about than we, though they have made little of it up to date. One thing only is certain. It is infallibly deadly, and it is horribly contagious."

He spoke now with a feverish energy, the long hands twitching and jerking as he motioned me away.

"Contagious by touch, Watson--that's it, by touch. Keep your distance and all is well."

"Good heavens, Holmes! Do you suppose that such a consideration weighs with me of an instant? It would not affect me in the case of a stranger. Do you imagine it would prevent me from doing my duty to so old a friend?"

Again I advanced, but he repulsed me with a look of furious anger.

"If you will stand there I will talk. If you do not you must leave the room."

I have so deep a respect for the extraordinary qualities of Holmes that I have always deferred to his wishes, even when I least understood them. But now all my professional instincts were aroused. Let him be my master elsewhere, I at least was his in a sick room.

"Holmes," said I, "you are not yourself. A sick man is but a child, and so I will treat you. Whether you like it or not, I will examine your symptoms and treat you for them."

He looked at me with venomous eyes.

"If I am to have a doctor whether I will or not, let me at least have someone in whom I have confidence," said he.

"Then you have none in me?"

"In your friendship, certainly. But facts are facts, Watson, and, after all, you are only a general practitioner with very limited experience and mediocre ualifications. It is painful to have to say these things, but you leave me no choice."

I was bitterly hurt.

"Such a remark is unworthy of you, Holmes. It shows me very clearly the state of your own nerves. But if you have no confidence in me I would not intrude my services. Let me bring Sir Jasper Meek or Penrose Fisher, or any of the best men in London. But someone you MUST have, and that is final. If you think that I am going to stand here and see you die without either helping you myself or bringing anyone else to help you, then you have mistaken your man."

"You mean well, Watson," said the sick man with something between a sob and a groan. "Shall I demonstrate your own ignorance? What do you know, pray, of Tapanuli fever? What do you know of the black Formosa corruption?"

"I have never heard of either."

"There are many problems of disease, many strange pathological possibilities, in the East, Watson." He paused after each sentence to collect his failing strength. "I have learned so much during some recent researches which have a medico-criminal aspect. It was in the course of them that I contracted this complaint. You can do nothing."

"Possibly not. But I happen to know that Dr. Ainstree, the greatest living authority upon tropical disease, is now in London. All remonstrance is useless, Holmes, I am going this instant to fetch him." I turned resolutely to the door.

Never have I had such a shock! In an instant, with a tiger-spring, the dying man had intercepted me. I heard the sharp snap of a twisted key. The next moment he had staggered back to his bed, exhausted and panting after his one tremendous outflame of energy.

"You won't take the key from be by force, Watson, I've got you, my friend. Here you are, and here you will stay until I will otherwise. But I'll humour you." (All this in little gasps, with terrible struggles for breath between.) "You've only my own good at heart. Of course I know that very well. You shall have your way, but give me time to get my strength. Not now, Watson, not now. It's four o'clock. At six you can go."

"This is insanity, Holmes."

"Only two hours, Watson. I promise you will go at six. Are you content to wait?"

"I seem to have no choice."

"None in the world, Watson. Thank you, I need no help in arranging the clothes. You will please keep your distance. Now, Watson, there is one other condition that I would make. You will seek help, not from the man you mention, but from the one that I choose."

"By all means."

"The first three sensible words that you have uttered since you entered this room, Watson. You will find some books over there. I am somewhat exhausted; I wonder how a battery feels when it pours electricity into a non-conductor? At six, Watson, we resume our conversation."

But it was destined to be resumed long before that hour, and in circumstances which gave me a shock hardly second to that caused by his spring to the door. I had stood for some minutes looking at the silent figure in the bed. His face was almost covered by the clothes and he appeared to be asleep. Then, unable to settle down to reading, I walked slowly round the room, examining the pictures of celebrated criminals with which every wall was adorned. Finally, in my aimless perambulation, I came to the mantelpiece. A litter of pipes, tobacco-pouches, syringes, penknives, revolver-cartridges, and other debris was scattered over it. In the midst of these was a small black and white ivory box with a sliding lid. It was a neat little thing, and I had stretched out my hand to examine it more closely when It was a dreadful cry that he gave--a yell which might have been heard down the street. My skin went cold and my hair bristled at that horrible scream. As I turned I caught a glimpse of a convulsed face and frantic eyes. I stood paralyzed, with the little box in my hand.

"Put it down! Down, this instant, Watson--this instant, I say!" His head sank back upon the pillow and he gave a deep sigh of relief as I replaced the box upon the mantelpiece. "I hate to have my things touched, Watson. You know that I hate it. You fidget me beyond endurance. You, a doctor--you are enough to drive a patient into an asylum. Sit down, man, and let me have my rest!"

The incident left a most unpleasant impression upon my mind. The violent and causeless excitement, followed by this brutality of speech, so far removed from his usual suavity, showed me how deep was the disorganization of his mind. Of all ruins, that of a noble mind is the most deplorable. I sat in silent dejection until the stipulated time had passed. He seemed to have been watching the clock as well as I, for it was hardly six before he began to talk with the same feverish animation as before.

"Now, Watson," said he. "Have you any change in your pocket?"

"Yes."

"Any silver?"

"A good deal."

"How many half-crowns?"

"I have five."

"Ah, too few! Too few! How very unfortunate, Watson! However, such as they are you can put them in your watchpocket. And all the rest of your money in your left trouser pocket. Thank you. It will balance you so much better like that."

This was raving insanity. He shuddered, and again made a sound between a cough and a sob.

"You will now light the gas, Watson, but you will be very careful that not for one instant shall it be more than half on. I implore you to be careful, Watson. Thank you, that is excellent. No, you need not draw the blind. Now you will have the kindness to place some letters and papers upon this table within my reach. Thank you. Now some of that litter from the mantelpiece. Excellent, Watson! There is a sugar-tongs there. Kindly raise that small ivory box with its assistance. Place it here among the papers. Good! You can now go and fetch Mr. Culverton Smith, of 13 Lower Burke Street."

To tell the truth, my desire to fetch a doctor had somewhat weakened, for poor Holmes was so obviously delirious that it seemed dangerous to leave him. However, he was as eager now to consult the person named as he had been obstinate in refusing.

"I never heard the name," said I.

"Possibly not, my good Watson. It may surprise you to know that the man upon earth who is best versed in this disease is not a medical man, but a planter. Mr. Culverton Smith is a well-known resident of Sumatra, now visiting London. An outbreak of the disease upon his plantation, which was distant from medical aid, caused him to study it himself, with some rather far-reaching consequences. He is a very methodical person, and I did not desire you to start before six, because I was well aware that you would not find him in his study. If you could persuade him to come here and give us the benefit of his unique experience of this disease, the investigation of which has been his dearest hobby, I cannot doubt that he could help me."

I gave Holmes's remarks as a consecutive whole and will not attempt to indicate how they were interrupted by gaspings for breath and those clutchings of his hands which indicated the pain from which he was suffering. His appearance had changed for the worse during the few hours that I had been with him. Those hectic spots were more pronounced, the eyes shone more brightly out of darker hollows, and a cold sweat glimmered upon his brow. He still retained, however, the jaunty gallantry of his speech. To the last gasp he would always be the master.

"You will tell him exactly how you have left me," said he. "You will convey the very impression which is in your own mind--a dying man--a dying and delirious man. Indeed, I cannot think why the whole bed of the ocean is not one solid mass of oysters, so prolific the creatures seem. Ah, I am wondering! Strange how the brain controls the brain! What was I saying, Watson?"

"My directions for Mr. Culverton Smith."

"Ah, yes, I remember. My life depends upon it. Plead with him, Watson. There is no good feeling between us. His nephew, Watson--I had suspicions of foul play and I allowed him to see it. The boy died horribly. He has a grudge against me. You will soften him, Watson. Beg him, pray him, get him here by any means. He can save me--only he!"

"I will bring him in a cab, if I have to carry him down to it."

"You will do nothing of the sort. You will persuade him to come. And then you will return in front of him. Make any excuse so as not to come with him. Don't forget, Watson. You won't fail me. You never did fail me. No doubt there are natural enemies which limit the increase of the creatures. You and I, Watson, we have done our part. Shall the world, then, be overrun by oysters? No, no; horrible! You'll convey all that is in your mind."

I left him full of the image of this magnificent intellect babbling like a foolish child. He had handed me the key, and with a happy thought I took it with me lest he should lock himself in. Mrs. Hudson was waiting, trembling and weeping, in the passage. Behind me as I passed from the flat I heard Holmes's high, thin voice in some delirious chant. Below, as I stood whistling for a cab, a man came on me through the fog.

"How is Mr. Holmes, sir?" he asked.

It was an old acquaintance, Inspector Morton, of Scotland Yard, dressed in unofficial tweeds.

"He is very ill," I answered.

He looked at me in a most singular fashion. Had it not been too fiendish, I could have imagined that the gleam of the fanlight showed exultation in his face.

"I heard some rumour of it," said he.

The cab had driven up, and I left him.

Lower Burke Street proved to be a line of fine houses lying in the vague borderland between Notting Hill and Kensington. The particular one at which my cabman pulled up had an air of smug and demure respectability in its old-fashioned iron railings, its massive folding-door, and its shining brasswork. All was in keeping with a solemn butler who appeared framed in the pink radiance of a tinted electrical light behind him.

"Yes, Mr. Culverton Smith is in. Dr. Watson! Very good, sir, I will take up your card."

My humble name and title did not appear to impress Mr. Culverton Smith. Through the half-open door I heard a high, petulant, penetrating voice.

"Who is this person? What does he want? Dear me, Staples, how often have I said that I am not to be disturbed in my hours of study?"

There came a gentle flow of soothing explanation from the butler.

"Well, I won't see him, Staples. I can't have my work interrupted like this. I am not at home. Say so. Tell him to come in the morning if he really must see me."

Again the gentle murmur.

"Well, well, give him that message. He can come in the morning, or he can stay away. My work must not be hindered."

I thought of Holmes tossing upon his bed of sickness and counting the minutes, perhaps, until I could bring help to him. It was not a time to stand upon ceremony. His life depended upon my promptness. Before the apologetic butler had delivered his message I had pushed past him and was in the room. With a shrill cry of anger a man rose from a reclining chair beside the fire. I saw a great yellow face, coarse-grained and greasy, with heavy, double-chin, and two sullen, menacing gray eyes which glared at me from under tufted and sandy brows. A high bald head had a small velvet smoking-cap poised coquettishly upon one side of its pink curve. The skull was of enormous capacity, and yet as I looked down I saw to my amazement that the figure of the man was small and frail, twisted in the shoulders and back like one who has suffered from rickets in his childhood.

"What's this?" he cried in a high, screaming voice. "What is the meaning of this intrusion? Didn't I send you word that I would see you to-morrow morning?"

"I am sorry," said I, "but the matter cannot be delayed. Mr.
Sherlock Holmes--"

The mention of my friend's name had an extraordinary effect upon the little man. The look of anger passed in an instant from his face. His features became tense and alert.

"Have you come from Holmes?" he asked.

"I have just left him."

"What about Holmes? How is he?"

"He is desperately ill. That is why I have come."

The man motioned me to a chair, and turned to resume his own. As he did so I caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror over the mantelpiece. I could have sworn that it was set in a malicious and abominable smile. Yet I persuaded myself that it must have been some nervous contraction which I had surprised, for he turned to me an instant later with genuine concern upon his features.

"I am sorry to hear this," said he. "I only know Mr. Holmesthrough some business dealings which we have had, but I haveevery respect for his talents and his character. He is anamateur of crime, as I am of disease. For him the villain, forme the microbe. There are my prisons," he continued, pointing toa row of bottles and jars which stood upon a side table. "Amongthose gelatine cultivations some of the very worst offenders inthe world are now doing time."

"It was on account of your special knowledge that Mr. Holmes desired to see you. He has a high opinion of you and thought that you were the one man in London who could help him."

The little man started, and the jaunty smoking-cap slid to the floor.

"Why?" he asked. "Why should Mr. Homes think that I could help him in his trouble?"

"Because of your knowledge of Eastern diseases."

"But why should he think that this disease which he has contracted is Eastern?"

"Because, in some professional inquiry, he has been working among Chinese sailors down in the docks."

Mr. Culverton Smith smiled pleasantly and picked up his smoking-cap.

"Oh, that's it--is it?" said he. "I trust the matter is not so grave as you suppose. How long has he been ill?"

"About three days."

"Is he delirious?"

"Occasionally."

"Tut, tut! This sounds serious. It would be inhuman not to answer his call. I very much resent any interruption to my work, Dr. Watson, but this case is certainly exceptional. I will come with you at once."

I remembered Holmes's injunction.

"I have another appointment," said I.

"Very good. I will go alone. I have a note of Mr. Holmes's address. You can rely upon my being there within half an hour at most."

It was with a sinking heart that I reentered Holmes's bedroom. For all that I knew the worst might have happened in my absence. To my enormous relief, he had improved greatly in the interval. His appearance was as ghastly as ever, but all trace of delirium had left him and he spoke in a feeble voice, it is true, but with even more than his usual crispness and lucidity.

"Well, did you see him, Watson?"

"Yes; he is coming."

"Admirable, Watson! Admirable! You are the best of messengers."

"He wished to return with me."

"That would never do, Watson. That would be obviously impossible. Did he ask what ailed me?"

"I told him about the Chinese in the East End."

"Exactly! Well, Watson, you have done all that a good friend could. You can now disappear from the scene."

"I must wait and hear his opinion, Holmes."

"Of course you must. But I have reasons to suppose that this opinion would be very much more frank and valuable if he imagines that we are alone. There is just room behind the head of my bed, Watson."

"My dear Holmes!"

"I fear there is no alternative, Watson. The room does not lend itself to concealment, which is as well, as it is the less likely to arouse suspicion. But just there, Watson, I fancy that it could be done." Suddenly he sat up with a rigid intentness upon his haggard face. "There are the wheels, Watson. Quick, man, if you love me! And don't budge, whatever happens--whatever happens, do you hear? Don't speak! Don't move! Just listen with all your ears." Then in an instant his sudden access of strength departed, and his masterful, purposeful talk droned away into the low, vague murmurings of a semi-delirious man.

>From the hiding-place into which I had been so swiftly hustled I heard the footfalls upon the stair, with the opening and the closing of the bedroom door. Then, to my surprise, there came a long silence, broken only by the heavy breathings and gaspings of the sick man. I could imagine that our visitor was standing by the bedside and looking down at the sufferer. At last that strange hush was broken.

"Holmes!" he cried. "Holmes!" in the insistent tone of one who awakens a sleeper. "Can't you hear me, Holmes?" There was a rustling, as if he had shaken the sick man roughly by the shoulder.

"Is that you, Mr. Smith?" Holmes whispered. "I hardly dared hope that you would come."

The other laughed.

"I should imagine not," he said. "And yet, you see, I am here. Coals of fire, Holmes--coals of fire!"

"It is very good of you--very noble of you. I appreciate your special knowledge."

Our visitor sniggered.

"You do. You are, fortunately, the only man in London who does. Do you know what is the matter with you?"

"The same," said Holmes.

"Ah! You recognize the symptoms?"

"Only too well."

"Well, I shouldn't be surprised, Holmes. I shouldn't be surprised if it WERE the same. A bad lookout for you if it is. Poor Victor was a dead man on the fourth day--a strong, hearty young fellow. It was certainly, as you said, very surprising that he should have contracted and out-of-the-way Asiatic disease in the heart of London--a disease, too, of which I had made such a very special study. Singular coincidence, Holmes. Very smart of you to notice it, but rather uncharitable to suggest that it was cause and effect."

"I knew that you did it."

"Oh, you did, did you? Well, you couldn't prove it, anyhow. But what do you think of yourself spreading reports about me like that, and then crawling to me for help the moment you are in trouble? What sort of a game is that--eh?"

I heard the rasping, laboured breathing of the sick man. "Give me the water!" he gasped.

"You're precious near your end, my friend, but I don't want you to go till I have had a word with you. That's why I give you water. There, don't slop it about! That's right. Can you understand what I say?"

Holmes groaned.

"Do what you can for me. Let bygones be bygones," he whispered. "I'll put the words out of my head--I swear I will. Only cure me, and I'll forget it."

"Forget what?"

"Well, about Victor Savage's death. You as good as admitted just now that you had done it. I'll forget it."

"You can forget it or remember it, just as you like. I don't see you in the witnessbox. Quite another shaped box, my good Holmes, I assure you. It matters nothing to me that you should know how my nephew died. It's not him we are talking about. It's you."

"Yes, yes."

"The fellow who came for me--I've forgotten his name--said that you contracted it down in the East End among the sailors."

"I could only account for it so."

"You are proud of your brains, Holmes, are you not? Think yourself smart, don't you? You came across someone who was smarter this time. Now cast your mind back, Holmes. Can you think of no other way you could have got this thing?"

"I can't think. My mind is gone. For heaven's sake help me!"

"Yes, I will help you. I'll help you to understand just where you are and how you got there. I'd like you to know before you die."

"Give me something to ease my pain."

"Painful, is it? Yes, the coolies used to do some squealing towards the end. Takes you as cramp, I fancy."

"Yes, yes; it is cramp."

"Well, you can hear what I say, anyhow. Listen now! Can you remember any unusual incident in your life just about the time your symptoms began?"

"No, no; nothing."

"Think again."

"I'm too ill to think."

"Well, then, I'll help you. Did anything come by post?"

"By post?"

"A box by chance?"

"I'm fainting--I'm gone!"

"Listen, Holmes!" There was a sound as if he was shaking the dying man, and it was all that I could do to hold myself quiet in my hiding-place. "You must hear me. You SHALL hear me. Do you remember a box--an ivory box? It came on Wednesday. You opened it--do you remember?"

"Yes, yes, I opened it. There was a sharp spring inside it. Some joke--"

"It was no joke, as you will find to your cost. You fool, you would have it and you have got it. Who asked you to cross my path? If you had left me alone I would not have hurt you."

"I remember," Holmes gasped. "The spring! It drew blood. This
box--this on the table."

"The very one, by George! And it may as well leave the room in my pocket. There goes your last shred of evidence. But you have the truth now, Holmes, and you can die with the knowledge that I killed you. You knew too much of the fate of Victor Savage, so I have sent you to share it. You are very near your end, Holmes. I will sit here and I will watch you die."

Holmes's voice had sunk to an almost inaudible whisper.

"What is that?" said Smith. "Turn up the gas? Ah, the shadows begin to fall, do they? Yes, I will turn it up, that I may see you the better." He crossed the room and the light suddenly brightened. "Is there any other little service that I can do you, my friend?"

"A match and a cigarette."

I nearly called out in my joy and my amazement. He was speaking in his natural voice--a little weak, perhaps, but the very voice I knew. There was a long pause, and I felt that Culverton Smith was standing in silent amazement looking down at his companion.

"What's the meaning of this?" I heard him say at last in a dry, rasping tone.

"The best way of successfully acting a part is to be it," said Holmes. "I give you my word that for three days I have tasted neither food nor drink until you were good enough to pour me out that glass of water. But it is the tobacco which I find most irksome. Ah, here ARE some cigarettes." I heard the striking of a match. "That is very much better. Halloa! halloa! Do I hear the step of a friend?"

There were footfalls outside, the door opened, and Inspector Morton appeared.

"All is in order and this is your man," said Holmes.

The officer gave the usual cautions.

"I arrest you on the charge of the murder of one Victor Savage," he concluded.

"And you might add of the attempted murder of one Sherlock Holmes," remarked my friend with a chuckle. "To save an invalid trouble, Inspector, Mr. Culverton Smith was good enough to give our signal by turning up the gas. By the way, the prisoner has a small box in the right-hand pocket of his coat which it would be as well to remove. Thank you. I would handle it gingerly if I were you. Put it down here. It may play its part in the trial."

There was a sudden rush and a scuffle, followed by the clash of iron and a cry of pain.

"You'll only get yourself hurt," said the inspector. "Stand still, will you?" There was the click of the closing handcuffs.

"A nice trap!" cried the high, snarling voice. "It will bring YOU into the dock, Holmes, not me. He asked me to come here to cure him. I was sorry for him and I came. Now he will pretend, no doubt, that I have said anything which he may invent which will corroborate his insane suspicions. You can lie as you like, Holmes. My word is always as good as yours."

"Good heavens!" cried Holmes. "I had totally forgotten him. My dear Watson, I owe you a thousand apologies. To think that I should have overlooked you! I need not introduce you to Mr. Culverton Smith, since I understand that you met somewhat earlier in the evening. Have you the cab below? I will follow you when I am dressed, for I may be of some use at the station.

"I never needed it more," said Holmes as he refreshed himself with a glass of claret and some biscuits in the intervals of his toilet. "However, as you know, my habits are irregular, and such a feat means less to me than to most men. It was very essential that I should impress Mrs. Hudson with the reality of my condition, since she was to convey it to you, and you in turn to him. You won't be offended, Watson? You will realize that among your many talents dissimulation finds no place, and that if you had shared my secret you would never have been able to impress Smith with the urgent necessity of his presence, which was the vital point of the whole scheme. Knowing his vindictive nature, I was perfectly certain that he would come to look upon his handiwork."

"But your appearance, Holmes--your ghastly face?"

"Three days of absolute fast does not improve one's beauty, Watson. For the rest, there is nothing which a sponge may not cure. With vaseline upon one's forehead, belladonna in one's eyes, rouge over the cheek-bones, and crusts of beeswax round one's lips, a very satisfying effect can be produced. Malingering is a subject upon which I have sometimes thought of writing a monograph. A little occasional talk about half-crowns, oysters, or any other extraneous subject produces a pleasing effect of delirium."

"But why would you not let me near you, since there was in truth no infection?"

"Can you ask, my dear Watson? Do you imagine that I have no respect for your medical talents? Could I fancy that your astute judgment would pass a dying man who, however weak, had no rise of pulse or temperature? At four yards, I could deceive you. If I failed to do so, who would bring my Smith within my grasp? No, Watson, I would not touch that box. You can just see if you look at it sideways where the sharp spring like a viper's tooth emerges as you open it. I dare say it was by some such device that poor Savage, who stood between this monster and a reversion, was done to death. My correspondence, however, is, as you know, a varied one, and I am somewhat upon my guard against any packages which reach me. It was clear to me, however, that by pretending that he had really succeeded in his design I might surprise a confession. That pretence I have carried out with the thoroughness of the true artist. Thank you, Watson, you must help me on with my coat. When we have finished at the police-station I think that something nutritious at Simpson's would not be out of place."

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Today, I will marry my best friend

Today, I will marry my best friend
The one I will always turn to.
Confide and be strong,
In my friend and my lover.

Today, I will marry my best friend,
To drink of love's eternal fountain.
Where we turn our heads from the past,
And trust in God to guide our paths.

Today, I will marry my best friend,
Traveling together as one.
Our dreams at last have came true,
As we live our lives together forever.

Today, I will marry my best friend,
Where our lives are not our own.
We place our lives in God's hands,
and let him carry us all the way to the end.

Submitted by Shawnna Thompson

WORDS FOR MUSIC

BY GEORGE P. MORRIS.

I knew a sweet girl,
with a bonny blue eye,
Who was born in the shade
The witch-hazel-tree made,
Where the brook sang a song
All the summer-day long,
And the moments, like birdlings went by,—
Like the birdlings the moments flew by.
I knew a fair maid,
soul enchanting in grace,
Who replied to my vow,
Neath the hazel-tree bough:
"Like the brook to the sea,
Oh, I yearn, love, for thee."
And she hid in my bosom her face—
In my bosom her beautiful face.
I have a dear wife,
who is ever my guide;
Wooed and won in the shade
The witch-hazel tree made,
Where the brook sings its song
All the summer day long,
And the moments in harmony glide,
Like our lives they in harmony glide.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

His Last Bow

An Epilogue of Sherlock Holmes
By Sir Arthur Conan Doyle


It was nine o'clock at night upon the second of August--the mostterrible August in the history of the world. One might havethought already that God's curse hung heavy over a degenerateworld, for there was an awesome hush and a feeling of vagueexpectancy in the sultry and stagnant air. The sun had long set,but one blood-red gash like an open wound lay low in the distantwest. Above, the stars were shining brightly, and below, thelights of the shipping glimmered in the bay. The two famousGermans stood beside the stone parapet of the garden walk, withthe long, low, heavily gabled house behind them, and they lookeddown upon the broad sweep of the beach at the foot of the greatchalk cliff in which Von Bork, like some wandering eagle, hadperched himself four years before. They stood with their headsclose together, talking in low, confidential tones. From belowthe two glowing ends of their cigars might have been thesmouldering eyes of some malignant fiend looking down in thedarkness.

A remarkable man this Von Bork--a man who could hardly be matchedamong all the devoted agents of the Kaiser. It was his talentswhich had first recommended him for the English mission, the mostimportant mission of all, but since he had taken it over thosetalents had become more and more manifest to the half-dozenpeople in the world who were really in touch with the truth. Oneof these was his present companion, Baron Von Herling, the chiefsecretary of the legation, whose huge 100-horse-power Benz carwas blocking the country lane as it waited to waft its owner backto London.

"So far as I can judge the trend of events, you will probably beback in Berlin within the week," the secretary was saying. "Whenyou get there, my dear Von Bork, I think you will be surprised atthe welcome you will receive. I happen to know what is thoughtin the highest quarters of your work in this country." He was ahuge man, the secretary, deep, broad, and tall, with a slow,heavy fashion of speech which had been his main asset in hispolitical career.

Von Bork laughed.

"They are not very hard to deceive," he remarked. "A moredocile, simple folk could not be imagined."

"I don't know about that," said the other thoughtfully. "Theyhave strange limits and one must learn to observe them. It isthat surface simplicity of theirs which makes a trap for thestranger. One's first impression is that they are entirely soft.Then one comes suddenly upon something very hard, and you knowthat you have reached the limit and must adapt yourself to thefact. They have, for example, their insular conventions whichsimply MUST be observed."

"Meaning 'good form' and that sort of thing?" Von Bork sighed asone who had suffered much.

"Meaning British prejudice in all its queer manifestations. Asan example I may quote one of my own worst blunders--I can affordto talk of my blunders, for you know my work well enough to beaware of my successes. It was on my first arrival. I wasinvited to a week-end gathering at the country house of a cabinetminister. The conversation was amazingly indiscreet."

Von Bork nodded. "I've been there," said he dryly.

"Exactly. Well, I naturally sent a resume of the information toBerlin. Unfortunately our good chancellor is a little heavy-handed in these matters, and he transmitted a remark which showedthat he was aware of what had been said. This, of course, tookthe trail straight up to me. You've no idea the harm that it didme. There was nothing soft about our British hosts on thatoccasion, I can assure you. I was two years living it down. Nowyou, with this sporting pose of yours--"

"No, no, don't call it a pose. A pose is an artificial thing.This is quite natural. I am a born sportsman. I enjoy it."

"Well, that makes it the more effective. You yacht against them,you hunt with them, you play polo, you match them in every game,your four-in-hand takes the prize at Olympia. I have even heardthat you go the length of boxing with the young officers. Whatis the result? Nobody takes you seriously. You are a 'good oldsport' 'quite a decent fellow for a German,' a hard-drinking,night-club, knock-about-town, devil-may-care young fellow. Andall the time this quiet country house of yours is the centre ofhalf the mischief in England, and the sporting squire the mostastute secret-service man in Europe. Genius, my dear Von Bork--genius!"

"You flatter me, Baron. But certainly I may claim my four yearsin this country have not been unproductive. I've never shown youmy little store. Would you mind stepping in for a moment?"

The door of the study opened straight on to the terrace. VonBork pushed it back, and, leading the way, he clicked the switchof the electric light. He then closed the door behind the bulkyform which followed him and carefully adjusted the heavy curtainover the latticed window. Only when all these precautions hadbeen taken and tested did he turn his sunburned aquiline face tohis guest.

"Some of my papers have gone," said he. "When my wife and thehousehold left yesterday for Flushing they took the lessimportant with them. I must, of course, claim the protection ofthe embassy for the others."

"Your name has already been files as one of the personal suite.There will be no difficulties for you or your baggage. Ofcourse, it is just possible that we may not have to go. Englandmay leave France to her fate. We are sure that there is nobinding treaty between them."

"And Belgium?"

"Yes, and Belgium, too."

Von Bork shook his head. "I don't see how that could be. Thereis a definite treaty there. She could never recover from such ahumiliation."

"She would at least have peace for the moment."

"But her honor?"

"Tut, my dear sir, we live in a utilitarian age. Honour is amediaeval conception. Besides England is not ready. It is aninconceivable thing, but even our special war tax of fiftymillion, which one would think made our purpose as clear as if wehad advertised it on the front page of the Times, has not rousedthese people from their slumbers. Here and there one hears aquestion. It is my business to find an answer. Here and therealso there is an irritation. It is my business to soothe it.But I can assure you that so far as the essentials go--thestorage of munitions, the preparation for submarine attack, thearrangements for making high explosives--nothing is prepared.How, then, can England come in, especially when we have stirredhe up such a devil's brew of Irish civil war, window-breakingFuries, and God knows what to keep her thoughts at home."

"She must think of her future."

"Ah, that is another matter. I fancy that in the future we haveour own very definite plans about England, and that yourinformation will be very vital to us. It is to-day or to-morrowwith Mr. John Bull. If he prefers to-day we are perfectly ready.If it is to-morrow we shall be more ready still. I should thinkthey would be wiser to fight with allies than without them, butthat is their own affair. This week is their week of destiny.But you were speaking of your papers." He sat in the armchairwith the light shining upon his broad bald head, while he puffedsedately at his cigar.

The large oak-panelled, book-lined room had a curtain hung in thefuture corner. When this was drawn it disclosed a large, brass-bound safe. Von Bork detached a small key from his watch chain,and after some considerable manipulation of the lock he swungopen the heavy door.

"Look!" said he, standing clear, with a wave of his hand.

The light shone vividly into the opened safe, and the secretaryof the embassy gazed with an absorbed interest at the rows ofstuffed pigeon-holes with which it was furnished. Each pigeon-hole had its label, and his eyes as he glanced along them read along series of such titles as "Fords," "Harbour-defences,""Aeroplanes," "Ireland,", "Egypt," "Portsmouth forts," "TheChannel," "Rosythe," and a score of others. Each compartment wasbristling with papers and plans.

"Colossal!" said the secretary. Putting down his cigar he softlyclapped his fat hands.

"And all in four years, Baron. Not such a bad show for the hard-drinking, hard-riding country squire. But the gem of mycollection is coming and there is the setting all ready for it."He pointed to a space over which "Naval Signals" was printed.

"But you have a good dossier there already."

"Out of date and waste paper. The Admiralty in some way got thealarm and every code has been changed. It was a blow, Baron--theworst setback in my whole campaign. But thanks to my check-bookand the good Altamont all will be well to-night."

The Baron looked at his watch and gave a guttural exclamation ofdisappointment.

"Well, I really can wait no longer. You can imagine that thingsare moving at present in Carlton Terrace and that we have all tobe at our posts. I had hoped to be able to bring news of yourgreat coup. Did Altamont name no hour?"

Von Bork pushed over a telegram.

Will come without fail to-night and bring new sparking plugs.

Altamont.

"Sparking plugs, eh?"

"You see he poses as a motor expert and I keep a full garage. Inour code everything likely to come up is named after some sparepart. If he talks of a radiator it is a battleship, of an oilpump a cruiser, and so on. Sparking plugs are naval signals."

"From Portsmouth at midday," said the secretary, examining thesuperscription. "By the way, what do you give him?"

"Five hundred pounds for this particular job. Of course he has asalary as well."

"The greedy rouge. They are useful, these traitors, but I grudgethem their blood money."

"I grudge Altamont nothing. He is a wonderful worker. If I payhim well, at least he delivers the goods, to use his own phrase.Besides he is not a traitor. I assure you that our most pan-Germanic Junker is a sucking dove in his feelings towards Englandas compared with a real bitter Irish-American."

"Oh, an Irish-American?"

"If you heard him talk you would not doubt it. Sometimes Iassure you I can hardly understand him. He seems to havedeclared war on the King's English as well as on the Englishking. Must you really go? He may be here any moment."

"No. I'm sorry, but I have already overstayed my time. We shallexpect you early to-morrow, and when you get that signal bookthrough the little door on the Duke of York's steps you can put atriumphant finis to your record in England. What! Tokay!" Heindicated a heavily sealed dust-covered bottle which stood withtwo high glasses upon a salver.

"May I offer you a glass before your journey?"

"No, thanks. But it looks like revelry."

"Altamont has a nice taste in wines, and he took a fancy to myTokay. He is a touchy fellow and needs humouring in smallthings. I have to study him, I assure you." They had strolledout on to the terrace again, and along it to the further endwhere at a touch from the Baron's chauffeur the great carshivered and chuckled. "Those are the lights of Harwich, Isuppose," said the secretary, pulling on his dust coat. "Howstill and peaceful it all seems. There may be other lightswithin the week, and the English coast a less tranquil place!The heavens, too, may not be quite so peaceful if all that thegood Zepplin promises us comes true. By the way, who is that?"
Only one window showed a light behind them; in it there stood alamp, and beside it, seated at a table, was a dear old ruddy-faced woman in a country cap. She was bending over her knittingand stopping occasionally to stroke a large black cat upon astool beside her.

"That is Martha, the only servant I have left."

The secretary chuckled.

"She might almost personify Britannia," said he, "with hercomplete self-absorption and general air of comfortablesomnolence. Well, au revoir, Von Bork!" With a final wave ofhis hand he sprang into the car, and a moment later the twogolden cones from the headlights shot through the darkness. Thesecretary lay back in the cushions of the luxurious limousine,with his thoughts so full of the impending European tragedy thathe hardly observed that as his car swung round the village streetit nearly passed over a little Ford coming in the oppositedirection.
Von Bork walked slowly back to the study when the last gleams ofthe motor lamps had faded into the distance. As he passed heobserved that his old housekeeper had put out her lamp andretired. It was a new experience to him, the silence anddarkness of his widespread house, for his family and householdhad been a large one. It was a relief to him, however, to thinkthat they were all in safety and that, but for that one old womanwho had lingered in the kitchen, he had the whole place tohimself. There was a good deal of tidying up to do inside hisstudy and he set himself to do it until his keen, handsome facewas flushed with the heat of the burning papers. A leathervalise stood beside his table, and into this he began to packvery neatly and systematically the precious contents of his safe.He had hardly got started with the work, however, when his quickears caught the sounds of a distant car. Instantly he gave anexclamation of satisfaction, strapped up the valise, shut thesafe, locked it, and hurried out on to the terrace. He was justin time to see the lights of a small car come to a halt at thegate. A passenger sprang out of it and advanced swiftly towardshim, while the chauffeur, a heavily built, elderly man with agray moustache, settled down like one who resigns himself to along vigil.

"Well?" asked Von Bork eagerly, running forward to meet hisvisitor.

For answer the man waved a small brown-paper parcel triumphantlyabove his head.

"You can give me the glad hand to-night, mister," he cried. "I'mbringing home the bacon at last."

"The signals?"

"Same as I said in my cable. Every last one of them, semaphore,lamp code, Marconi--a copy, mind you, not the original. That wastoo dangerous. But it's the real goods, and you can lay tothat." He slapped the German upon the shoulder with a roughfamiliarity from which the other winced.

"Come in," he said. "I'm all alone in the house. I was onlywaiting for this. Of course a copy is better than the original.If an original were missing they would change the whole thing.You think it's all safe about the copy?"

The Irish-American had entered the study and stretched his longlimbs from the armchair. He was a tall, gaunt man of sixty, withclear-cut features and a small goatee beard which gave him ageneral resemblance to the caricatures of Uncle Sam. A half-smoked, sodden cigar hung from the corner of his mouth, and as hesat down he struck a match and relit it. "Making ready for amove?" he remarked as he looked round him. "Say, mister," headded, as his eyes fell upon the safe from which the curtain wasnow removed, "you don't tell me you keep your papers in that?"

"Why not?"

"Gosh, in a wide-open contraption like that! And they reckon youto be some spy. Why, a Yankee crook would be into that with acan-opener. If I'd known that any letter of mine was goin' tolie loose in a thing like that I'd have been a mug to write toyou at all."
"It would puzzle any crook to force that safe," Von Borkanswered. "You won't cut that metal with any tool."

"But the lock?"

"No, it's a double combination lock. You know what that is?"

"Search me," said the American.

"Well, you need a word as well as a set of figures before you canget the lock to work." He rose and showed a double-radiatingdisc round the keyhole. "This outer one is for the letters, theinner one for the figures."

"Well, well, that's fine."

"So it's nit quite as simple as you thought. It was four yearsago that I had it made, and what do you think I chose for theword and figures?"

"It's beyond me."

"Well, I chose August for the word, and 1914 for the figures, andhere we are."

The American's face showed his surprise and admiration.

"My, but that was smart! You had it down to a fine thing."

"Yes, a few of us even then could have guessed the date. Here itis , and I'm shutting down to-morrow morning."

"Well, I guess you'll have to fix me up also. I'm not staying isthis gol-darned country all on my lonesome. In a week or less,from what I see, John Bull will be on his hind legs and fairramping. I'd rather watch him from over the water."

"But you're an American citizen?"

"Well, so was Jack James an American citizen, but he's doing timein Portland all the same. It cuts no ice with a British copperto tell him you're an American citizen. 'It's British law andorder over here,' says he. By the way, mister, talking of JackJames, it seems to me you don't do much to cover your men."

"What do you mean?" Von Bork asked sharply.

"Well, you are their employer, ain't you? It's up to you to seethat they don't fall down. But they do fall down, and when didyou ever pick them up? There's James--"

"It was James's own fault. You know that yourself. He was tooself-willed for the job."

"James was a bonehead--I give you that. Then there was Hollis."

"The man was mad."

"Well, he went a bit woozy towards the end. It's enough to makea man bug-house when he has to play a part from morning to nightwith a hundred guys all ready to set the coppers wise to him.But now there is Steiner--"

Von Bork started violently, and his ruddy face turned a shadepaler.

"What about Steiner?"

"Well, they've got him, that's all. They raided his store lastnight, and he and his papers are all in Portsmouth jail. You'llgo off and he, poor devil, will have to stand the racket, andlucky if he gets off with his life. That's why I want to getover the water as soon as you do."

Von Bork was a strong, self-contained man, but it was easy to seethat the news had shaken him.
"How could they have got on to Steiner?" he muttered. "That'sthe worst blow yet."

"Well, you nearly had a worse one, for I believe they are not faroff me."

"You don't mean that!"

"Sure thing. My landlady down Fratton way had some inquiries,and when I heard of it I guessed it was time for me to hustle.But what I want to know, mister, is how the coppers know thesethings? Steiner is the fifth man you've lost since I signed onwith you, and I know the name of the sixth if I don't get a moveon. How do you explain it, and ain't you ashamed to see your mengo down like this?"

Von Bork flushed crimson.

"How dare you speak in such a way!"

"If I didn't dare things, mister, I wouldn't be in your service.But I'll tell you straight what is in my mind. I've heard thatwith you German politicians when an agent has done his work youare not sorry to see him put away."

Von Bork sprang to his feet.

"Do you dare to suggest that I have given away my own agents!"

"I don't stand for that, mister, but there's a stool pigeon or across somewhere, and it's up to you to find out where it is.Anyhow I am taking no more chances. It's me for little Holland,and the sooner the better."

Von Bork had mastered his anger.

"We have been allies too long to quarrel now at the very hour ofvictory," he said. "You've done splendid work and taken risks,and I can't forget it. By all means go to Holland, and you canget a boat from Rotterdam to New York. No other line will besafe a week from now. I'll take that book and pack it with therest."

The American held the small parcel in his hand, but made nomotion to give it up.

"What about the dough?" he asked.

"The what?"

"The boodle. The reward. The 500 pounds. The gunner turneddamned nasty at the last, and I had to square him with an extrahundred dollars or it would have been nitsky for you and me.'Nothin' doin'!' says he, and he meant it, too, but the lasthundred did it. It's cost me two hundred pound from first tolast, so it isn't likely I'd give it up without gettin' my wad."

Von Bork smiled with some bitterness. "You don't seem to have avery high opinion of my honour," said he, "you want the moneybefore you give up the book."

"Well, mister, it is a business proposition."

"All right. Have your way." He sat down at the table andscribbled a check, which he tore from the book, but he refrainedfrom handing it to his companion. "After all, since we are to beon such terms, Mr. Altamont," said he, "I don't see why I shouldtrust you any more than you trust me. Do you understand?" headded, looking back over his shoulder at the American. "There'sthe check upon the table. I claim the right to examine thatparcel before you pick the money up."

The American passed it over without a word. Von Bork undid awinding of string and two wrappers of paper. Then he sat dazingfor a moment in silent amazement at a small blue book which laybefore him. Across the cover was printed in golden lettersPractical Handbook of Bee Culture. Only for one instant did themaster spy glare at this strangely irrelevant inscription. Thenext he was gripped at the back of his neck by a grasp of iron,and a chloroformed sponge was held in front of his writhing face.

"Another glass, Watson!" said Mr. Sherlock Holmes as he extendedthe bottle of Imperial Tokay.
The thickset chauffeur, who had seated himself by the table,pushed forward his glass with some eagerness.

"It is a good wine, Holmes."

"A remarkable wine, Watson. Our friend upon the sofa has assuredme that it is from Franz Josef's special cellar at theSchoenbrunn Palace. Might I trouble you to open the window, forchloroform vapour does not help the palate."

The safe was ajar, and Holmes standing in front of it wasremoving dossier after dossier, swiftly examining each, and thenpacking it neatly in Von Bork's valise. The German lay upon thesofa sleeping stertorously with a strap round his upper arms andanother round his legs.

"We need not hurry ourselves, Watson. We are safe frominterruption. Would you mind touching the bell? There is no onein the house except old Martha, who has played her part toadmiration. I got her the situation here when first I took thematter up. Ah, Martha, you will be glad to hear that all iswell."

The pleasant old lady had appeared in the doorway. She curtseyedwith a smile to Mr. Holmes, but glanced with some apprehension atthe figure upon the sofa.

"It is all right, Martha. He has not been hurt at all."

"I am glad of that, Mr. Holmes. According to his lights he hasbeen a kind master. He wanted me to go with his wife to Germanyyesterday, but that would hardly have suited your plans, wouldit, sir?"

"No, indeed, Martha. So long as you were here I was easy in mymind. We waited some time for your signal to-night."

"It was the secretary, sir."

"I know. His car passed ours."

"I thought he would never go. I knew that it would not suit yourplans, sir, to find him here."

"No, indeed. Well, it only meant that we waited half an hour orso until I saw your lamp go out and knew that the coast wasclear. You can report to me to-morrow in London, Martha, atClaridge's Hotel."

"Very good, sir."

"I suppose you have everything ready to leave."

"Yes, sir. He posted seven letters to-day. I have the addressesas usual."

"Very good, Martha. I will look into them to-morrow. Good-night. These papers," he continued as the old lady vanished,"are not of very great importance, for, of course, theinformation which they represent has been sent off long ago tothe German government. These are the originals which cold notsafely be got out of the country."

"Then they are of no use."

"I should not go so far as to say that, Watson. They will atleast show our people what is known and what is not. I may saythat a good many of these papers have come through me, and I neednot add are thoroughly untrustworthy. It would brighten mydeclining years to see a German cruiser navigating the Solentaccording to the mine-field plans which I have furnished. Butyou, Watson"--he stopped his work and took his old friend by theshoulders--"I've hardly seen you in the light yet. How have theyears used you? You look the same blithe boy as ever."

"I feel twenty years younger, Holmes. I have seldom felt sohappy as when I got your wire asking me to meet you at Harwichwith the car. But you, Holmes--you have changed very little--save for that horrible goatee."

"These are the sacrifices one makes for one's country, Watson,"said Holmes, pulling at his little tuft. "To-morrow it will bebut a dreadful memory. With my hair cut and a few othersuperficial changes I shall no doubt reappear at Claridge's to-morrow as I was before this American stunt--I beg your pardon,Watson, my well of English seems to be permanently defiled--before this American job came my way."

"But you have retired, Holmes. We heard of you as living thelife of a hermit among your bees and your books in a small farmupon the South Downs."

"Exactly, Watson. Here is the fruit of my leisured ease, themagnum opus of my latter years!" He picked up the volume fromthe table and read out the whole title, Practical Handbook of BeeCulture, with Some Observations upon the Segregation of theQueen. "Alone I did it. Behold the fruit of pensive nights andlaborious days when I watched the little working gangs as once Iwatched the criminal world of London."

"But how did you get to work again?"

"Ah, I have often marvelled at it myself. The Foreign Ministeralone I could have withstood, but when the Premier also deignedto visit my humble roof--! The fact is, Watson, that thisgentleman upon the sofa was a bit too good for our people. Hewas in a class by himself. Things were going wrong, and no onecould understand why they were going wrong. Agents weresuspected or even caught, but there was evidence of some strongand secret central force. It was absolutely necessary to exposeit. Strong pressure was brought upon me to look into the matter.It has cost me two years, Watson, but they have not been devoidof excitement. When I say that I started my pilgrimage atChicago, graduated in an Irish secret society at Buffalo, gaveserious trouble to the constabulary at Skibbareen, and soeventually caught the eye of a subordinate agent of Von Bork, whorecommended me as a likely man, you will realize that the matterwas complex. Since then I have been honoured by his confidence,which has not prevented most of his plans going subtly wrong andfive of his best agents being in prison. I watched them, Watson,and I picked them as they ripened. Well, sir, I hope that youare none the worse!"

The last remark was addressed to Von Bork himself, who after muchgasping and blinking had lain quietly listening to Holmes'sstatement. He broke out now into a furious stream of Germaninvective, his face convulsed with passion. Holmes continued hisswift investigation of documents while his prisoner cursed andswore.

"Though unmusical, German is the most expressive of alllanguages," he observed when Von Bork had stopped from pureexhaustion. "Hullo! Hullo!" he added as he looked hard at thecorner of a tracing before putting it in the box. "This shouldput another bird in the cage. I had no idea that the paymasterwas such a rascal, though I have long had an eye upon him.Mister Von Bork, you have a great deal to answer for."

The prisoner had raised himself with some difficulty upon thesofa and was staring with a strange mixture of amazement andhatred at his captor.

"I shall get level with you, Altamont," he said, speaking withslow deliberation. "If it takes me all my life I shall get levelwith you!"

"The old sweet song," said Holmes. "How often have I heard it indays gone by. It was a favorite ditty of the late lamentedProfessor Moriarty. Colonel Sebastian Moran has also been knownto warble it. And yet I live and keep bees upon the SouthDowns."

"Curse you, you double traitor!" cried the German, strainingagainst his bonds and glaring murder from his furious eyes.

"No, no, it is not so bad as that," said Holmes, smiling. "As myspeech surely shows you, Mr. Altamont of Chicago had no existencein fact. I used him and he is gone."

"Then who are you?"

"It is really immaterial who I am, but since the matter seems tointerest you, Mr. Von Bork, I may say that this is not my firstacquaintance with the members of your family. I have done a gooddeal of business in Germany in the past and my name is probablyfamiliar to you."

"I would wish to know it," said the Prussian grimly.

"It was I who brought about the separation between Irene Adlerand the late King of Bohemia when your cousin Heinrich was theImperial Envoy. It was I also who saved from murder, by theNihilist Klopman, Count Von und Zu Grafenstein, who was yourmother's elder brother. It was I--"

Von Bork sat up in amazement.

"There is only one man," he cried.

"Exactly," said Holmes.

Von Bork groaned and sank back on the sofa. "And most of thatinformation came through you," he cried. "What is it worth?What have I done? It is my ruin forever!"

"It is certainly a little untrustworthy," said Holmes. "It willrequire some checking and you have little time to check it. Youradmiral may find the new guns rather larger than he expects, andthe cruisers perhaps a trifle faster."

Von Bork clutched at his own throat in despair.

"There are a good many other points of detail which will, nodoubt, come to light in good time. But you have one qualitywhich is very rare in a German, Mr. Von Bork: you are asportsman and you will bear me no ill-will when you realize thatyou, who have outwitted so many other people, have at last beenoutwitted yourself. After all, you have done your best for yourcountry, and I have done my best for mine, and what could be morenatural? Besides," he added, not unkindly, as he laid his handupon the shoulder of the prostrate man, "it is better than tofall before some ignoble foe. These papers are now ready,Watson. If you will help me with our prisoner, I think that wemay get started for London at once."

It was no easy task to move Von Bork, for he was a strong and adesperate man. Finally, holding either arm, the two friendswalked him very slowly down the garden walk which he had trodwith such proud confidence when he received the congratulationsof the famous diplomatist only a few hours before. After ashort, final struggle he was hoisted, still bound hand and foot,into the spare seat of the little car. His precious valise waswedged in beside him.

"I trust that you are as comfortable as circumstances permit,"said Holmes when the final arrangements were made. "Should I beguilty of a liberty if I lit a cigar and placed it between yourlips?"

But all amenities were wasted upon the angry German.

"I suppose you realize, Mr. Sherlock Holmes," said he, "that ifyour government bears you out in this treatment it becomes an actof war."

"What about your government and all this treatment?" said Holmes,tapping the valise.

"You are a private individual. You have no warrant for myarrest. The whole proceeding is absolutely illegal andoutrageous."

"Absolutely," said Holmes.

"Kidnapping a German subject."

"And stealing his private papers."

"Well, you realize your position, you and your accomplice here.If I were to shout for help as we pass through the village--"

"My dear sir, if you did anything so foolish you would probablyenlarge the two limited titles of our village inns by giving us'The Dangling Prussian' as a signpost. The Englishman is apatient creature, but at present his temper is a little inflamed,and it would be as well not to try him too far. No, Mr. VonBork, you will go with us in a quiet, sensible fashion toScotland Yard, whence you can send for your friend, Baron VonHerling, and see if even now you may not fill that place which hehas reserved for you in the ambassadorial suite. As to you,Watson, you are joining us with your old service, as Iunderstand, so London won't be out of your way. Stand with mehere upon the terrace, for it may be the last quiet talk that weshall ever have."

The two friends chatted in intimate converse for a few minutes,recalling once again the days of the past, while their prisonervainly wriggled to undo the bonds that held him. As they turnedto the car Holmes pointed back to the moonlit sea and shook athoughtful head.

"There's an east wind coming, Watson."

"I think not, Holmes. It is very warm."

"Good old Watson! You are the one fixed point in a changing age.There's an east wind coming all the same, such a wind as neverblew on England yet. It will be cold and bitter, Watson, and agood many of us may wither before its blast. But it's God's ownwind none the less, and a cleaner, better, stronger land will liein the sunshine when the storm has cleared. Start her up,Watson, for it's time that we were on our way. I have a checkfor five hundred pounds which should be cashed early, for thedrawer is quite capable of stopping it if he can."
Project Gutenberg Etext
prepared by David Brannan of Woodbridge, Virginia.

THE CABMAN'S STORY

The Mysteries of a London "Growler"

We had to take a "growler," for the day looked rather threatening andwe agreed that it would be a very bad way of beginning our holiday by getting wet, especially when Fanny was only just coming round fromthe whooping cough. Holidays were rather scarce with us, and when wetook one we generally arranged some little treat, and went in forenjoying ourselves. On this occasion we were starting off fromHammersmith to the Alexandra Palace in all the dignity of afour-wheeler. What with the wife and her sister, and Tommy and Fannyand Jack, the inside was pretty well filled up, so I had to look outfor myself. I didn't adopt the plan of John Gilpin under similarcircumstances, but I took my waterproof and climbed up beside thedriver.

This driver was a knowing-looking old veteran, with a weather-beatenface and white side whiskers. It has always seemed to me that a Londoncabman is about the shrewdest of the human race, but this specimenstruck me as looking like the shrewdest of the cabmen. I tried to drawhim out a bit as we jogged along, for I am always fond of a chat; buthe was a bit rusty until I oiled his tongue with glass of gin when wegot as far as the "Green Anchor." Then he rattled away quickly enough,and some of what he said is worth trying to put down in black and white.

"Wouldn't a hansom pay me better?" he said, in answer to a questionof mine. "Why, of course it would. But look at the position! Afour-wheeler's a respectable conveyance, and the driver of it's arespectable man, but you can't say that of a rattling, splashing'ansom. Any boy would do for that job. Now, to my mind money hain'tto be compared to position, whatever a man's trade may be."

"Certainly not!" I answered.
"Besides, I've saved my little penny, and I'm got too old to changemy ways. I've begun on a growler, and I'll end on one. If you'llbelieve me, sir, I've been on the streets for seven-and-forty year."

"That's a long time," I said.

"Well, it's long for our trade," he replied. "You see, thereain't no other in the world that takes the steam out of a man so quickly--what with wet and cold and late hours, and maybe no hours at all. There'sfew that lasts at it as long as I have."

"You must have seen a deal of the world during that time," Iremarked. "There are few men who can have greater opportunities ofseeing life."

"The world!" he grunted, flicking up the horse with his whip. "I'veseen enough of it to be well-nigh sick of it. As to life, if you'dsaid death, you'd ha' been nearer the mark."

"Death!" I ejaculated.

"Yes, death," he said. "Why, bless your soul, sir, if I was to writedown all I've seen since I've been in the trade, there's not a manin London would believe me, unless maybe some o' the other cabbies. I tell ye I took a dead man for a fare once, and drove about with himnigh half the night. Oh, you needn't look shocked, sir, for thiswasn't the cab--no, nor the last one I had neither."

"How did it happen?" I asked, feeling glad, in spite of hisassurance, that Matilda had not heard of the episode.

"Well, it's an old story now," said the driver, putting a small pieceof very black tobacco into the corner of his mouth. "I daresay it'stwenty odd years since it happened, but it's not the kind o' thing asslips out of a man's memory. It was very late one night, and I wasworking my hardest to pick up something good, for I'd made a poorday's work of it. The theatres had all come out, and though I keptup and down the Strand till nigh one o'clock, I got nothing but oneeighteenpenny job. I was thinking of giving it up and going home,when it struck me that I might as well make a bit of a circuit, andsee if I couldn't drop across something. Pretty soon I gave agentleman a lift as far as the Oxford Road, and then I drove throughSt. John's Wood on my way home. By that time it would be abouthalf-past one, and the streets were quite quiet and deserted, for thenight was cloudy and it was beginning to rain. I was putting on thepace as well as my tired beast would go, for we both wanted to getback to our suppers, when I heard a woman's voice hail me out of aside street. I turned back, and there in about the darkest part ofthe road was standing two ladies--real ladies, mind you, for itwould take a deal of darkness before I would mistake one for theother. One was elderly and stoutish; the other was young, and had aveil over her face. Between them there was a man in evening dress,whom they were supporting on each side, while his back was propped upagainst a lamp-post. He seemed beyond taking care of himselfaltogether, for his head was sunk down on his chest, and he'd havefallen if they hadn't held him.

"'Cabman,' said the stout lady, with a very shaky voice, 'I wish youwould help us in this painful business.' Those were her veryhidentical words.

"'Cert'nly, mum,' I says for I saw my way to a good thing. 'Whatcan I do for the young lady and yourself?' I mentioned the otherin order to console her like, for she was sobbing behind her veilsomething pitiful.

"'The fact is, cabman,' she answers, 'this gentleman is my daughter'shusband. They have only just been married, and we are visiting at afriend's house near here. My son-in-law has just returned in a stateof complete intoxication, and my daughter and I have brought him outin the hope of seeing a cab in which we could send him home, for wehave most particular reasons for not wishing our friends to see himin this state, and as yet they are ignorant of it. If you woulddrive him to his house and leave him there, you would do us both avery great kindness, and we can easily account to our hosts for hisabsence.'

"I thought this rather a rum start, but I agreed, and no sooner hadI said the word than the old one she pulls open the door, and she andthe other, without waiting for me to bear a hand, bundled him inbetween them.

"'Where to?' I asked.

"'Forty-seven, Orange Grove, Clapham,' she said. 'Hoffman is thename. You'll easily waken the servants.'

"'And how about the fare?' I suggested, for I thought maybe theremight be a difficulty in collecting it at the end of the journey.

"'Here it is,' said the young one, slipping what I felt to be asovereign into my hand, and at the same time giving it a sort of agrateful squeeze, which made me feel as if I'd drive anywhere toget her out of trouble.

"Well, off I went, leaving them standing by the side of the road.The horse was well-nigh beat, but at last I found my way to 47,Orange Grove. It was a biggish house, and all quiet, as you maysuppose, at that hour. I rang the bell, and at last down came aservant--a man, he was.

"'I've got the master here,' I said.

"'Got who?' he asked.

"'Why Mr. Hoffman--your master. He's in the cab, not quitehimself. This is number forty-seven, ain't it?'

"'Yes, it's forty-seven, right enough; but my master's CaptainRitchie, and he's away in India, so you've got the wrong house.'

"'That was the number they gave me,' I said, 'But maybe he's come tohimself by this time, and can give us some information. He was deaddrunk an hour ago.'

"Down we went to the cab, the two of us, and opened the door. He hadslipped off the seat and was lying all in a heap on the floor.

"'Now, then, sir,' I shouted. 'Wake up and give us your address.'

"He didn't answer.

"I gave another shake. 'Pull yourself together,' I roared. 'Give usyour name, and tell us where you live.'

"He didn't answer again. I couldn't even hear the sound ofbreathing. Then a kind of queer feeling came over me, and I putdown my hand and felt his face. It was as cold as lead. The cove'sdead, mate,' I said.

"The servant struck a match, and we had a look at my passenger.He was a young, good-looking fellow, but his face wore anexpression of pain, and his jaw hung down. He was evidently notonly dead, but had been dead some time.

"'What shall we do?' said the flunkey. He was as white as deathhimself, and his hair bristled with fear.

"'I'll drive to the nearest police station,' I answered; and so Idid, leaving him shivering on the pavement. There I gave up my fare,and that was the last I ever saw of him."

"Did you never hear any more of it?" I asked.

"Hear! I thought I should never hear the end of it, what withexaminations and inquests and one thing and another. The doctorsproved that he must have been dead at the time he was shoved intothe cab. Just before the inquest four little blue spots came outon one side of his neck, and one on the other, and they said onlya woman's hand could have fitted over them, so they brought in averdict of willful murder; but, bless you, they had managed it soneatly that there was not a clue to the women, nor to the man either,for everything by which he might have been identified had beenremoved from his pockets. The police were fairly puzzled by thatcase. I've always thought what a bit o' luck it was that I got myfare, for I wouldn't have had much chance of it if it hadn't beenpaid in advance."

My friend the driver began to get very husky about the throat at thisstage of the proceedings, and slackened his speed very noticeably aswe approached a large public-house, so that I felt constrained tooffer him another gin, which he graciously accepted. The ladies hadsome wine, too, and I followed the example of my companion on thebox, so that we all started refreshed.
"The police and me's been mixed up a good deal," continued theveteran resuming his reminiscences: "They took the best customer Iever had away from me. I'd have made my fortin if they'd let himcarry on his little game a while longer."

Here, with the coquetry of one who knows that his words are ofinterest, the driver began to look around him with an air ofabstraction and to comment upon the weather.

"Well, what about your customer and the police?" I asked.

"It's not much to tell," he said, coming back to his subject. "Onemorning I was driving across Vauxhall Bridge when I was hailed by acrooked old man with a pair of spectacles on, who was standing atthe Middlesex end, with a big leather bag in his hand. 'Drive anywhereyou like,' he said; 'only don't drive fast for I'm getting old, andit shakes me to pieces.' He jumped in, and shut himself up, closingthe windows, and I trotted about with him for three hours, before helet me know that he had had enough. When I stopped, out he hoppedwith his big bag in his hand.

"'I say cabbie!' he said, after he had paid his fare.

"'Yes, sir,' said I, touching my hat.

"'You seem to be a decent sort of fellow, and you don't go in thebreak-neck way of some of your kind. I don't mind giving you thesame job every day. The doctors recommend gentle exercise of thesort, and you may as well drive me as another. Just pick me up atthe same place tomorrow.'

"Well, to make a long story short, I used to find the little man inhis place every morning, always with his black bag, and for nighon to four months never a day passed without his having his threehours' drive and paying his fare like a man at the end of it. Ishifted into new quarters on the strength of it, and was able to buya new set of harness. I don't say as I altogether swallowed thestory of the doctors having recommended him on a hot day to go aboutin a growler with both windows up. However, it's a bad thing in thisworld to be too knowing, so though I own I felt a bit curious attimes, I never put myself out o' the way to find out what the littlegame was. One day, I was driving tap to my usual place of droppinghim--for by this time we had got into the way of going a regularbeat every morning--when I saw a policeman waiting, with a perkysort of look about him, as if he had some job on hand. When thecab stopped out jumped the little man with his bag right into thearms of the 'bobby.'

"'I arrest you, John Malone,' says the policeman.

"'On what charge?' he answers as cool as a turnip.

"'On the charge of forging Bank of England notes,' says the 'bobby'.

"'Oh, then the game is up!' he cries, and with that he pulls off hisspectacles, and his wig and whiskers, and there he was, as smart ayoung fellow as you'd wish to see.

"'Good-bye, cabby,' he cried, as they led him off, and that was thelast I saw of him, marching along between two of them, and anotherbehind with the bag."

"And why did he take a cab?" I asked, much interested.

"Well, you see, he had all his plant for making the notes in thatbag. If he were to lock himself up in his lodging several hours aday it would soon set people wondering, to say nothing of the chanceof eyes at the window or key-hole. Again, you see, if he took ahouse all on his own hook, without servant nor anyone, it would lookqueer. So he made up his mind as the best way of working it was tocarry it on in a closed cab, and I don't know that he wasn't right. He was known to the police however, and that was how they spottedhim. Drat that van! It was as near as a touch to my off-wheel.

"Bless you, if I was to tell you all the thieves and burglars, andeven murderers, as have been in my growler one time or another, you'dthink I'd given the whole Newgate Calendar a lift, though to be surethis young chap as I spoke of was the only one as ever reg'lar set upin business there. There was one though as I reckon to be worse thanall the others put together, if he was what I think him to be. It'soften laid heavy on my mind that I didn't have that chap collaredbefore it was too late, for I might have saved some mischief. It wasabout ten years ago--I never was a good hand for dates--that Ipicked up a stout-built sailor-sort of fellow, with a reddishmoustache, who wanted to be taken down to the docks. After this chapas I told you of had taken such liberties with the premises I'd had alittle bit of a glass slit let in in front here--the same that yourlittle boy's flattening his nose against at this moment--so as Icould prevent any such games in the future, and have an idea,whenever I wished, of what was going on inside. Well, something oranother about this sailor fellow made me suspicious of him, and Itook a look at what he was after. He was sitting on the seat, sir,with a big lump o' coal in his lap, and was a looking at it mostattentive. Now this seemed to me rather a rum start, so I kept onwatching of him, for as you'll see, my window's not a very large one,and it's easier to see through it than to be seen. Well, he pulls aspring or something, and out jumps one of the sides of this bit ofcoal, and then I saw it was really a hollow box, painted, you see,and made rough so as to look like the other. I couldn't make head ortail of it anyhow, and indeed I'd pretty near forgot all about itwhen there came news of the explosion at Bemerhaven, and people beganto talk about coal torpedoes. Then I knew as in all probability I'dcarried the man who managed the business, and I gave word to thepolice, but they never could make anything of it. You know what a coaltorpedo is, don't you? Well, you see, a cove insures his ship formore than its value, and then off he goes and makes a box like a bito'coal, and fills it chock full with dynamite, or some other cowardlystuff of the sort. He drops this box among the other coals on the quaywhen the vessel is filling her bunkers, and then in course of timebox is shoveled on to the furnaces, when of course the whole ship isblown sky high. They say there's many a good ship gone to the bottomlike that."

"You've certainly had some queer experiences," I said.

"Why bless you!" remarked the driver, "I've hardly got fairlystarted yet, and here we are at the 'Alexandry.' I could tell youmany another story as strange as these--and true, mind ye, true asGospel. If ever your missus looks in need of a breath of fresh airyou send round for me--Copper Street, number ninety-four--andI'll give her a turn into the country, and if you'll come up besideme on the box, I'll tell you a good deal that may surprise you. Butthere's your little lad a hollering to you like mad, and the wifewants to get out, and the other one's a tapping at the window with aparasol. Take care how you get down, sir! That's right! Don'tforget number ninety-four! Good-day missus! Good-day, sir!" Andthe growler rumbled heavily away until I lost sight both of it and ofits communicative driver among the crowd of holiday-makers whothronged the road which led to the Palace.
Title : The Cabman's Story, by Arthur Conan Doyle
Produced by Darlene A. Cypser